What's In A Name

I never thought things through, 

all my thoughts vanish with you.

Engraving my heart,

but deflecting my head, 

the poison of your words is starting to spread.

Negativity seeps, depression creeps,

Your love is dry and talk is cheap.

I try to take matters in my own hands,

but you're relentless, heartless,

nothing withstands.

My love starts to vanish,

this smile is a lie,

you think I'm nervous, 

that I've gone shy.

If only you knew all my thoughts,

if you saw the trap,

before you were caught.

#21 I can't even fathom the fact that I have posted twenty different things on this site, remarkable when you think about it. I have no idea what I would do, if I didn't write. I mean I write more than you would think, I'm in the mist of a short story right now :) hehe. I guess my creativity and inspiration is a gift in itself. I mean sometimes I don't realize it, but I don't have what you would call just average writing abilities for a fifteen year old, at least that is what I like to think and although I do experience writers block from time to time, writing is what I turn to for self expression and without it, who knows what I would be like. (p.s. look at this a video AND a picture)

Found An Old Paper I did

     I took a moment to look around, unsure of what to think. Fear had overruled

my mind, as with so many other humans, in fact that was the one thing that had

brought us closer, through fear. After a struggle freedom seems impossible.

Once you fall it's hardest to get up. So how is it that I am here now? How is it

that a place so corrupt can still be beautiful? yet, it is still possible.

Nature's beauty is intoxicating, the way it soothes your mind, cleanses your

soul, as if you are at peace with the world for just a moment. A moment you

wish could last forever.

      To breath in a fresh breath of this air, crisp and cool on a day like

this, almost as if to run to a secret place faraway. To be at rest and forget

the pressure upon your everyday life, not being expected of anything, no need

to run from your mistakes. Felonies are a thing of the past, love is of the

future. Un-burdened, almost weightless, trying to make this last as long as

you possibly can.

       A feeling of relaxation overtakes your body; you begin to wonder why you

decided to deal with such a harsh world in the first place. then you realize you

had to. Reality strikes, you stand up, almost coming out of your own dream,

and walk away. Leaving this beauty for someone else to notice, or perhaps,

be ignored.

#12 I am grateful for relief, imagine having to feel burdened your whole life. It is absolutely true when someone tells you that the way your mindset is can affect your whole life, because, trust me, it can. The more negative I am some days, the worse those days go, but the feeling that you can wake up the next morning lie in bed and just feel damn relieved, that is the best feeling anyone could ask for, you can't forget memories, but you can replace them, and you can make new ones.

I Wish You The Best

I'm so sick of you empty promises,

beating me down into the ground,

taking breaths, but swallowing dirt,

Nothing to do but cry,

when life loses hope,

you lose life,

so then why are you still here?

Waiting,

Watching,

Praying,

Deceiving,

lying,

cheating,

why can't you just leave me alone?

In my own denial.

#9 I am thankful for smiles. Any sort, evil, happy, trickery, sincerity, it doesn't matter. When someone smiles it makes me think, that maybe, just for a moment, they actually care, it is a natural process that the human body uses, denial of what is real, of what is true, of what is.