What's In A Name

I never thought things through, 

all my thoughts vanish with you.

Engraving my heart,

but deflecting my head, 

the poison of your words is starting to spread.

Negativity seeps, depression creeps,

Your love is dry and talk is cheap.

I try to take matters in my own hands,

but you're relentless, heartless,

nothing withstands.

My love starts to vanish,

this smile is a lie,

you think I'm nervous, 

that I've gone shy.

If only you knew all my thoughts,

if you saw the trap,

before you were caught.

#21 I can't even fathom the fact that I have posted twenty different things on this site, remarkable when you think about it. I have no idea what I would do, if I didn't write. I mean I write more than you would think, I'm in the mist of a short story right now :) hehe. I guess my creativity and inspiration is a gift in itself. I mean sometimes I don't realize it, but I don't have what you would call just average writing abilities for a fifteen year old, at least that is what I like to think and although I do experience writers block from time to time, writing is what I turn to for self expression and without it, who knows what I would be like. (p.s. look at this a video AND a picture)

Stress

How can I handle a world,

that can barely handle me?

How can I break through a barrier,

when I barely have strength to breath?

How can I move mountains,

when I trip on pebbles in the sand,

Pitty is much easier to come up with,

than to make an actual plan.

#19 I have to say that I am thankful for school. Sometimes I question the reason as to why humans imparticular go to school, why us? What did we do to deserve this? Knowledge can be the most powerful and most harmful tool in our entire lives and school is exactly what gives us this knowledge and teaches us how to use it. I can't imagine ever being home-schooled, no matter how "similar" people may say it is, to me, it isn't not at all. I would have never met ninety-five percent of my friends had it not been for school. But when you think about it, I would have never created ninety-five percent of my problems had it not been for school. But that is what life is about gaining knowledge today and using it for tomorrow. To my teachers, all the faculty of the school, yes even that mean janitor on the first floor, thank you, not that I think they will ever read this :P

Up To The Sky, Just To Fall Back On The Ground

 

My feet were planted firmly on the ground

So why am I high in the sky right now?

Floating freely

but underneath sinking deeply

everything in life has a dark twist to it

almost as if we are never just "safe" 

I can try and pull my self out from underneath a black whole,

but do I really ever escape?

#13 I am grateful for having blogger in the first place, it has actually brought me some pretty cool experiences and I have been able to share my true feelings about anything and not have to feel like hiding them from the public (:

I Wish You The Best

I'm so sick of you empty promises,

beating me down into the ground,

taking breaths, but swallowing dirt,

Nothing to do but cry,

when life loses hope,

you lose life,

so then why are you still here?

Waiting,

Watching,

Praying,

Deceiving,

lying,

cheating,

why can't you just leave me alone?

In my own denial.

#9 I am thankful for smiles. Any sort, evil, happy, trickery, sincerity, it doesn't matter. When someone smiles it makes me think, that maybe, just for a moment, they actually care, it is a natural process that the human body uses, denial of what is real, of what is true, of what is.

I Really Just Want To Be Creamated

Putting myself in ruins,

trying to escape out of this dirt hole,

ten feet deep,

filled with sorrow,

no remorse,

no guilt,

as they close in on me,

lift their shovels with pride,

with joy,

with satisfaction

#8 I am thankful for failure. How could I ever know what it feels like to succeed, truly succeed without the comprehension of what it is like to fail, truly fail. I am grateful that I can accept my own defeat even if it means, picking the headstone for my grave.

Procrastination

Let's get this done,

yes right now,

don't hold back,

let your energy build,

until it explodes,

it flies around,

given to others,

what was it I needed to do?

#5 I am definitely grateful for some of my failed valiant efforts, an example being this poem itself. I never knew that procrastination was this effective.

Another Day Another Morning

Off to school in about an hour....

Pick or choose your favorite power,

This is a rhyme I tried to make,

But just turned out a big mistake,

I am not a rhymer, am I much?

Not that I care to rhyme and such,

This was more fun than I intended,

And as I talk I have not pretended,

To fool you to believe any lies,

Can you see the truth that is in my eyes?

#2 I am definitely grateful for the sun, I mean what would we do without it? It is basically a big ball of warmth and comfort to us, the thought of it not being there is rather scary.